Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
that's an acceptable place to lick
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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