I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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