They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
