I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
