The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
