I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize