So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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