My Higher Power is John Stamos
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize