Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
