And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize