Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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