haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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