So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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