I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
one two three fourrrrnication!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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