I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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