on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
