Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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