Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He shit in the fireplace
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
