Don't you send me to vm
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
