But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
