I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You smell like stripper and shame
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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