You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
