somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
