I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize