we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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