God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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