Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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