Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
