i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize