I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
