i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
