I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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