just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
