im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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