so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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