You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
