Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize