if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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