I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize