i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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