i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
