i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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