my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize