You smell like stripper and shame
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
