How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
