The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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