every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
