i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize