WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
