Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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