i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
