Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I smell stomach acid.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
