it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
