i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
