Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
