her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize