But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
