It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
