so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
