I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
