I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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