Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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