i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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