There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
