I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
