i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
